Let’s get right to it:
You know in learning all I did through my training I’m amazed anyone gets on at all.
There are so many mis-matches in communication styles, the different between men and women and individual ways of people saying what they mean.
So you need to get this right first. You and your partner are effectively speaking different languages which causes huge misunderstandings.
A huge communication disaster occurs when you speak through emotion, this is where the depth of your emotion fills and powers your words. You cannot ‘not’ communicate how you are feeling.
The emotion behind words (inside them, above them and below them) can feel like an energetic poke, pain daggers that will get his back up before you have been started explaining what you wanted to say.
2. Taking responsibility for your own happiness
Women will have a tendency to look to their partners to put things right for them, to help and assist with painful feelings. Only natural right? Only this is a major problem, putting this responsibility on someone else’s shoulders is a huge weight and in fact something they cannot do.
No one else can make you happy or sort out your emotional pain, only you. This causes huge discomfort for your man as it puts him in an impossible and frustrating place of wanting to solve a problem for you but he can’t.
He can only end up feeling a failure and I know you wouldn’t want him to feel that.
When you sort this out you both feel free, free to be yourselves and relate in a non negative way. This builds immediate connection and togetherness.
3. Old resentments and feeling hurt
It can seem impossible to move past some of the stuff can’t it? What he said, what he did. It keeps popping into your head and winds you up all over again. You’re hurt by it and don’t know how this could feel any better.
It’s happened, it’s gone yet you feel that at any moment it’s right back in the room again, your head taking you down that road of irritation, anger and hurt.
Releasing pain is about changing the way you view things. It’s so important you do this otherwise you invite negative energy back in to play out all over again. With the right tools and guidance, this is not difficult to do.
Living in the moment without this burden creates a light energy, a more natural one of contentment. When he no longer feels the pain daggers, he can feel accepted by you, allowing him to be more open. Putting smiles back on your faces when you see each other, a welcome energy of love and warmth .
You crave this. If only he would show more understanding. More emotional support. Why doesn’t he understand what I’m saying? Why doesn’t he understand what I need?
The number one lesson in this can feel like a hard one and that is that that you need to be understanding. Hmmmmm …… may feel like a bit of an “ouch!” at first or may invoke an angry response.
This is a sign that it’s a exactly where you need to go. It can feel annoying because you are the understanding one .. I get it!
What you won’t realise is that the expectation that others are like you is causing a bit of a problem. The understanding that needs to happen is related to accepting the difference between you and him.
Really learning to understand your partner opens doors in ways you couldn’t imagine. It leads to acceptance, dropping resentments, and expectations. It also leaves him free to be himself. It allows him to offer more support . Your disappointment in him is palpable, he can feel it.
When someone feels your approval, they will want to do more things to make you happy. He’ll be more open to what you say and receptive to your opinions and needs.
You will have grown up being shown (unconsciously) what relationships should be. You will have absorbed this information without even knowing, think Princess being saved by a knight in shining armour.
Films, songs and magazines have bought into an idea that it’s all going to be something that quite frankly it isn’t. This has resulted in millions of disappointed women!
A reality check on what it all actually is releases the huge expectations that women place on men. It also frees you to stop looking for happiness where it isn’t.
For him, he can breathe and relax. He can stop walking on egg shells. A release of tensions and stress like this turns him right back to the man he once was. Like magic.
Doing nothing about this means that you choose for things to stay the same.
I will show you how to do all of this .. and more! In only 21 Days, you can turn this thing around and you don’t need his help to do it.