07889 651370 jan@janjames.co.uk
Are you around someone that causes you to withhold your opinion? It’s easier not say anything because of an adverse and upsetting response?
First off they could just be knob, this is true. 😂 You’re never responsible for how someone else chooses to respond. But there’s also something else at play that you can change.
If you are around someone like this it could well be a throw back to your past. A learning that you shouldn’t upset someone because they will be upset. They may get angry or defensive and you then feel bad.
Was this something you learnt way back when?
In the present, this learning may still play out. It’s interesting though that you’re not exactly fearful of upsetting people. You’re fearful of the feeling it invokes in you. 😳
It’s that feeling of feeling bad that you’re trying to avoid. It’s this that keeps you silent or not expressing yourself.
So how is this helpful for you now? Well, if you weren’t to feel bad then you could easily express yourself, regardless of the response.
If you didn’t feel bad, you wouldn’t be held back.
Chances are you would get a totally different response too 😉.
Would you like to know how changing your fear of this would create a difference response from someone else? Have a watch of this: