07889 651370 jan@janjames.co.uk

What’s he doing that needs sorting? Is it caused by something in his past? Does he need to get in touch with his emotions? Does he just need to understand you?

Maybe he should listen and put his Therapist’s head on to help you deal with your emotions?

Have you given this a lot of thought? Of what needs changing and how to do it?

Because if only he could sort himself out then everything would be fine. If he would just stop doing that really annoying or hurtful thing. If only he were more considerate or sensitive, if only he would counsel me when I’m struggling. If only he were to put his arms around me when I’m upset…. instead of that dead eye stare and mute expression.

Has he become a project? Something to be analysed, fixed and resolved?

Let’s take a little minute to look at the reason women do this, because trust me, you are NOT on your own with this one.

What’s the purpose of wanting to resolve what he does?

What would happen if it was all better?

How would you feel?

Take a moment to answer those questions before you read on.

In all likelihood you are looking to feel better inside. To resolve hurt and upset and prevent it happening again.

Your mind is taking you round and round in circles trying to resolve something you don’t actually have to resolve. 😮 This is a painful way to live, when you need someone else to be different so that you can feel ok.

Think about this. If you were to resolve this with your partner then there would be someone else that upset you, then someone else. This would be a lifelong impossible job of trying to change everyone else.

There is a different answer. A way to resolve this issue that doesn’t involve him at all.

What if it didn’t bother you? What if you weren’t troubled or upset by what he does? How much of a problem would it be then?

Yes, this is absolutely possible!

Learn how to do this in The Relationship Supercharge, check it out here :