07889 651370 jan@janjames.co.uk

If you don’t feel good enough then there are some things that will go hand in hand with this.

You will tend to people please.

You’ll do what other people want even if you don’t really want to. You’ll silently suffer and feel frustrated that it’s all about supporting everyone else but no one seems to help you. It’s important to you that you keep other people happy.

You suppress yourself

You won’t express yourself because it might upset someone else. You keep upsets and frustrations to yourself and try to work out why you’re feeling the way you do rather than address someone else’s behaviour or words. You’ll ask yourself “Is it me?” and look to you as a possible cause for why someone is the way they are.

You can’t say no.

It just feels so uncomfortable to say no, you want to but you don’t. You feel bad, really bad. You’re agreeing to do things you don’t want to do then get angry inside at them and at yourself for doing it anyway.

You don’t have boundaries

You’re living in other people’s experiences, emotions and energy. You’re deeply affected and upset by other people’s suffering. You feel off balance and want to avoid people because it makes you feel awful. You live them instead of living you.

You overthink and analyse everything

Living in your head and constantly thinking to try and work out how you feel and what to do about it is a nightmare. It drains you, it makes you feel so low and big time stuck! This is like living in a stagnant and paralysing energy where you have no motivation.

You try to fix other people

You love a project. If only you could put them right then things would be better. You wouldn’t be feeling so bad. You can’t stand to see someone else upset and deep down it feels like it’s your job to make it right for them. You worry about them, you stress about their problems and feelings, you take it into your world like it’s yours.

You look to other people to make you feel better

Your self esteem is dependent on how other people are treating you. You look to other people behaviour and actions to re affirm that you’re ok, that you’re loved and accepted. That you’re validated and good enough.

If anything happens that is not this then you’re knocked into a negative place of self doubt and extreme upset.

All of this comes from not having a healthy boundary. As a result of not feeling good enough.

You may think that to solve this you will need to feel good enough. Yes, this would be a great thing to get help with. But, creating healthy boundaries has the effect of shifting this feeling you have about yourself and is the perfect place to start.

Get this free video series, it’s time to change this because this is no way to live:

Much love, Jan xx